the WNBA

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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