Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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