Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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