why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Black People.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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