What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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25

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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neil patrick harris

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Women's rights

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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