How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is a bracket? a bracket

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How come grilled cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops