What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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david what a baghead

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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