Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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A woman walks into a bar.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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