3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops