TWIX PAUSE!

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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Brad Fuller!

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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School

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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