Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Flop dog

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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acualy is dolan

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Snarf Nuggets

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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