What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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Romans rights.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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