What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Gay's

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Religion.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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