Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops