What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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