A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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There's my tractor.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Women's rights

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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Joke.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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