what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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try slamming a revolving door

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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bees knees

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops