What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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knock knock get lost!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops