What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops