What did the man without a tongue say...

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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