Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

You're*

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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