I got shot once it hurt a lot

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

9

What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

Joke.

What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

try slamming a revolving door

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

Top Gear USA

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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