What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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Sarah Palin

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Im black

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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