What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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5

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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Black People.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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