How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Gangnam style

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops