If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Flop dog

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops