Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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knock knock who's there no one

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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