Jersey Shore

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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