Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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The BCS

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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