Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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Hillary Clinton

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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... i forgot the joke :p

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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