The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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