What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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this is not an anti joke

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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