Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Paper shield.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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