knock knock get lost!

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops