roses are red violets should be purple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops