what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is not a joke or is it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops