What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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I pooped my pants

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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Chinese drivers.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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69

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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im black

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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