A paraplegic walks into a bar.

why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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