Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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This is not a joke

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops