Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

Anti-joke.com

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

What color was the duck? It had one foot.

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

i like turtals and kids

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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