whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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