What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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