How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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21

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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