Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops