A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Black People.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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