How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

donald................duck for president

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops