so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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A white person at Harvard

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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