what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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