Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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YOU

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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