How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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