what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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hi

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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Snooki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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