What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Cancer

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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