baby seal walks into a club

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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hey guys what's up?

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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