Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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i have two hands.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Tell you something funny.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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My parents have an open marriage.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Hi

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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