A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Hillary Clinton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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