A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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... i forgot the joke :p

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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Jersey Shore

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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