What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops